6 thinking mistakes prevent you from setting limits - and endanger your relationship

Setting limits and being able to say no is important, especially in a partnership. You can read here why it is still so difficult for many people.
Why can't I set limits?  A young, exhausted woman is sitting in her bed
Saying no more often, setting boundaries, being honest, making clear announcements - all wise advice that most people should take to heart. Because very few do it. The question arises: why? Why is it so difficult for many people to set themselves apart and take care of themselves, although word has gotten around how important it is to have healthy relationships and be happy? We have a few ideas ...

6 misconceptions prevent you from setting limits

1. "I have to make my partner happy"

Our sweetheart and our relationship naturally contribute to our happiness and satisfaction. Aaaber, it is not our job as a partner to make others happy, especially if we have to pretend or constantly withdraw - and thereby become unhappy ourselves. Conflicts and dark clouds are part of a partnership and only those who go through difficult phases together can be happy in the long term.

2. "I must not upset my partner"

We can't always please others anyway, so we should give up trying to give it a try. In a relationship in particular, it cannot be avoided that one annoys one another or does something that annoys the other. And if the partnership can't stand it, it's probably not very healthy.

3. "I have to relieve my partner with all my strength"

The truth is: sometimes life is very difficult and everyone has to carry his parcel. We can't take our favorite man's either - after all, we still have our own. Clearly we can and should strengthen and support each other in a partnership as best we can. But there is no point in relieving our treasure with all our strength - if we break it ourselves. 

4. "I should understand my partner - even without many words"

No one can read minds. Everyone can talk or communicate about this. It is not your job to interpret your partner's behavior or facial expression. He's already big and can tell you what's going on. If he does not do this - even if you asked for it - you obviously cannot help him and you do not need to worry excessively about what is going on in him.

5. "I am selfish when I think of myself"

For one thing, selfishness is not that bad, but extremely human. Secondly, only those who care for themselves can be there for othersWe cannot give more than we have. In addition, everyone knows best for himself what he needs, has, and can give, so it would be total nonsense to say: "You primarily take care of me and I take care of you." Therefore: by taking care of yourself, you are doing your sweetheart a favor. Is that a reason to feel bad ...? 

6. "I have to earn my partner's love"

True love is unconditional. That means you don't have to do anything to earn it - other than being yourself. A partnership can only work in the long term if both parties can be authentic and (still ... 😅) want to stay together. Anyone who believes that they have to hide their corners, edges, and needs from their sweetheart in order to be loved and accepted is not simply wrong, but probably also has to learn a round of self-love before they really feel comfortable and happy in a relationship can

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